Sorry for the interruption in my regular posting, but as sometimes happens life got in the way.
During this time something happened that I felt I should write about, and it’s something that I have not thought in depth about before.
As many of you know I go to Slimming World and I weigh in once a week at a group, you get congratulated on your weight loss and if you gain or maintain you talk about it any struggles/ reasons why it happened.
I have always struggled with the “lets talk about why you haven’t lost weigh or gained” conversations, it is not always a bad thing, I have had plenty of weeks where I have thoroughly enjoyed myself, I regret nothing and put on weight and I don’t want to be made to feel bad about it. I am looking to have a healthy lifestyle lose weight slowly and get to where I want to be but I also want to enjoy life as I get there.
I am always quite outspoken when this happens. They ask you how you feel about your gain, and usually my answer is “great, I had a fantastic week”.
Now if I haven’t enjoyed myself and self sabotaged my weightless that is a different story.
But this new experience had nothing to do with weight gain and everything to do with weight loss.
I lost 4.5lbs, I hit my one and a half stone award, I should have been happy. I wasn’t though, the week before my weigh in a member of my family had been very ill. I had spent my week worried sick, I could barely eat and I felt trapped in my own head stressed and worrying. Everyone thought it was fantastic that I had lost 4.5lbs in a week and all I could think was, if only they knew. I would not want anyone to go through that.
I decided that the following weeks as things returned to normal (the worry lessened as their health improved) that I would give myself compassionate leave from dieting. I ate anything and everything and over 2 weeks I put on 4lbs. Of course this was met with looks of oh no you’ve put on but I am happy I know have the opportunity to lose the weight in a healthy way. I have put my stone and a half sticker and certificate to one side and when I hit that number again I will present it to myself again.
It left me very aware that people can be struggling in so many different ways. It can become an obsession losing weight and hitting a number, not eating properly, and increased stress had caused to lose weight quickly. I was very venerable and if my mind had been thinking sightly differently I may have taken that weight loss as a positive. A good feeling in during a dark period, how easy it could be to continue that, everyone telling you how well you have done, everyone smiling and congratulating your achievement. When everything around you is falling apart you grab on to anything that makes you feel good.
Of course I don’t blame any of the people at group, we are all going there to lose weight. Therefore when you have lost weight it is celebrated, they are not trained in mental health. They see us all once a week and not everyone stays for the full meeting. I have not stayed for the last 3 weeks.
My aim in this is too open peoples eyes a little bit more, if you go to a group make friends and chat with people get to know them and watch out for them. Even though that person might not tell you what is going on, talking to someone and smiling can help in so many small ways. You may even start to be able to notice if they just don’t seem themselves.